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Working Papers or "Veniam Pro Laudo Peto"
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Holiday schedules and divorced parenting troubles..again!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
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So here we go anouther set of holidays coming that should be filled with joy and family and I find myself in the position once again that I will be alone for the bulk of the holiday season. I really thought the issue of whom my daughter is with for certain holidays would have or could have been resolved with a couple phone calls or one on one conversations. I thought that perhaps going by the divorce papers would be best to simply resolve any potential disputes. What I have found is that when it works for my ex's advantage then we go by the papers and when it doesn't then there is hell to pay in form of one argument after anouther. I am very used to sharing time and not having my daughter on every holiday but I would at least like some mutual sharing. This is so very frustrating. The thing is- is it is not even about she vs. me as far as time goes but it is also and most importantly about our daughter getting to spend time with both of her parents and not feeling pulled apart. Many times in the past I just give in and let it be but I do not want to be put into a backseat anymore. I think that once Thanksgiving is all over with I will try to set up a meeting in a 'safe place' that my ex and I can hash out holidays and how we will handle them. Then my suggestion will be that once a year we agree to meet and go over all visitation times and holidays and vacations for the upcoming year and put it down in a format that we can both follow- easily. Last minute changes may happen but at least we would have a general idea of dates so as to avoid the regular ordeal of who does what. At that point once it is mutually agreed to and in writing of some kind -even a spreadsheet form or calandar of some kind we can show it to our daughter so she can plan and know in advance where she will be and when. I guess I have been divorced long enough that I really could care less who did what years ago--I just want to raise my daughter, spend qualtity time with her and move on. I am tired of old arguments and there just has to be a better way to plan and see to it that our daughter is jointly parented. My daughter deserves her parents working together not playing games of one ups manship.
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    11/16/2004 11:49:00 PM :: ::
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