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The Consumer of Grace

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

"The goal of all our undertakings should be not so much a task perfectly completed as the accomplishment of the will of God."
+Saint Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face, OCD

The Consumer of Grace: Relections during Adoration and Evening Prayer
I stopped by my Parish’s Adoration Chapel this evening so that I could offer my thanks to Our Lord for my time with my daughter this eve and for some intentions that I have. I found my self part way through Evening Prayer stopping and pleading with Him to just allow me to love Him and show Him the love I feel and to let me give that to others in whatever way He sees fit. It was not a pitiful plea but just a deep love that I wanted to give to a God who has been so gracious and merciful to me. I can not really put into words in a quick sound bite posting my prayer but it basically came down to God I only want to Love You not for any graces or gifts now or in the future but just to love You as You have loved me.
I think we all (I am at least) consumers at heart whether in the world or in Church even. We all want something (I certainly do) from the world, from the media, from each other and from God. I think that we all (I have to) move beyond consumerism and what we expect from each other or even from God and allow Love to guide us deeper. To not expect a certain grace from Him to not put even those expectations on others but to allow Divine Truth and Divine Love to manifest it self with in- it is then (I think) that we move from being consumer minded with God to being more closely united with Him.
I was really worrying about finances, about my daughter, my family, being able to find money to go to a Catholic conference I want to attend, for health and or conversion of others, finding money for school for myself or funds to pay the orthodontist and still make a retreat and all my little concerns. I mention all this in detail to simply show that we all have concerns we bring before the Throne of Grace and I am certainly no exception- in fact I am the biggest consumer of grace there is. It was then while in prayer that I thought do I just really trust in Divine Providence and that regardless of what may or may not happen that I really love and trust in Him or am I just basically a consumer of grace. I have to act the same as I try to convey in this blog that His Love is all that is really necessary and He knows my needs and will provide. What is necessary for me it to Trust with complete abandonment to my self in Him and to Love Him with all my heart, mind and soul. The graces I may receive, the gifts how ever enjoyable are not as important as just showing Him love. In the end all we have is Love and Truth. In the end all we have is God so why not give my all- my entire heart, my mind and soul to Him now. I would rather He use me as He sees fit and dispose of me as He sees fit within His Heart burning with Love than to just be a haphazard consumer of grace.
Lord teach me to Love YOU and completely Trust in YOU - the rest we TOGETHER will figure out along the way.
Jesus I Trust In You!!
Jesus I Love You!!
Omnia Pro Iesu Per Mariam!

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