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Five short words that changed the world as I knew it

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Jesus I Trust in You!! Lead us further into Your Love!! Posted by Hello

Five short words that changed the world as I knew it:
I would not wish the past 8 or so years on my worst enemy. I would not want to wish the last year plus on an enemy. Since my days in the Marine Corps there have been about 18 or so surgeries and all the pain that they bring with them. I went through marriage and divorce and terrible emotional pain in being away from my daughter. I lost close friends from death and many family members I love. I went through a couple not so nice episodes of depression caused by all the above and some other stuff. I have come to the point where I did not know several times if I would live through the night much less become healthy again. I went through seizures and then because of the medication gained an enormous amount of weight so I ended up having to have a series of gastric bypass operations followed by subsequent hernia surgeries. I have had recently both parents suffer through cancer. I am watching of the people I most admire and love gradually loose his mind through Alzheimer's. Nope, I would not wish that on anyone friend or foe but I would do it all over again just too finally know as I do now just how loving and merciful Our Lord is to me (to us all). Very seldom now when I am alone do I feel lonely for He dwells within me. I am so blessed to live close to an Adoration chapel that I can stop in anytime day or night and listen to Him and He listens to me. I am richly blessed to be a part of a active and vibrant Parish and have deeply insightful Catholic neighbors and friends. I have seen the best of people and the worst also. I can honestly say I have seen evil straight in the eye and looked at death it the face several times but I have seen God's Love and Truth and I am hear to tell you the fact it is not the evil or darkness or even pain or death that scares me but it is not seeing anymore the Holy Face of Christ and being in His Love and Light. I have a decent income and do ok now but I have also had to stand in line at the food shelf. Believe me I do not enjoy hurting (physically, emotionally or financially) and I love my life now- could be better but all in all it is pretty good but I would RUN back to all the hard times in a instant without thinking twice about it -if I had to choose between His Love and Grace and the a life in health and splendor with out Him. I know that the movie stars and billionaires of the world seem to really have it, but guess what folks, you can live in luxury and be dead inside. I would love to have some nicer things in life and I am not saying that anyone who has those things is bad but there is so much joy and love that pours into my soul when I sit with Him -much less receive Him in Holy Eucharist that I can not imagine a greater joy or gift. I would not wish the past few years on an enemy just to see their pain. (I actually don't really have any enemies that I know of but you get the point.) But you know what if I knew that all the past few years would lead someone to the love and joy I feel not to mention what it must be like in heaven- then- then I might wish it on a friend- better yet let them have the joy with Christ and I will gladly suffer a bit more for Him and remain in Christ Our Lord. I wish my limited word capacity and limited intelligence (compared to many others) that I could really express how vast His Heart is and how wonderful it is to rest within and I wish I could grab as many souls as I could and let them experience this Love and Joy that Our Lord gives me through the Heart of His Mother. All I can do is write of my love and somehow in someway through His Grace maybe someone will just try Christ and His Bride out for a chance encounter with Joy and Love and Light. I have seen people get almost everything handed to them on a silver platter and they still end up bitter and broken and I have seen incredible sadness turn to joy and the only difference is where does the heart rest in darkness and death or in Life and Light and in Christ. It doesn't matter how broken you are, how rich or poor, if you are in a big parish or a tiny small one, it doen't matter how much baggage you have- none of it matters as long as you run to Him and remain in His Love and Truth- the rest of it is just window coverings for the soul. It is only through Him that we (that I) will ever find true and lasting joy but we have to first trust and it starts with a five short words "Jesus I Trust in You"!
Omnia Pro Iesu Per Mariam!!

"So dearly does His Majesty love us that He will reward our love for our neighbor by increasing the love which we bear to Himself, and that in a thousand ways."
St Teresa of Jesus, OCD
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