Working Papers or "Veniam Pro Laudo Peto"
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Trials as Tools for Grace and Mercy

Sunday, September 25, 2005
Praised be Jesus Christ!! Now and Forever!!

I think I am finally starting to understand what St. Paul meant when he stated that he boasted in his weakness. I think that it is at the point that we recognize our individual weaknesses and offer them up to Our Lord that He can then do the greatest work within us. I know, looking back on it, that when I finally stopped fighting and offered up my own pain and suffering and stopped using them as a crutch then Christ was able to transform me. The pain still occurred but it was no longer mine- in a selfish sort of way- it was Christ Our Lord who united it with the cross and took ownership. Maybe it is a bit harder to explain than I thought and I will attempt to give a bit of perspective.
When we (I) have a particular weakness or temptation the human reaction is to want to either fix it, subcome to it or control it. I think what I have to do and what we all have to do is to recognize that it is that weakness or temptation that God can work the biggest miracle but we have to let go first. It is difficult for God's Grace to work fully if we are holding onto stuff- if we want to be in control. The big part of saying "Jesus I trust in You" is taking loose of what ever it is that we think we can control and letting God assume control. The temptation or weakness is always in our hands when we try to control things but when we allow God to fully assume the leadership role in our souls and we let go then we have strength to persevere. Now, you certainly don't give in to temptation but you do recognize your weakness and lean on Christ and not on yourself. Our Lord is in the drivers seat then and will guide you saftely out of danger. If I was in the drivers seat regardless of how good my intentions I would steer strait into the coming hazard everytime.
I think that God allows us to be tempted in order to give us the opportunity to turn to Him and allow Him to work in a deeper way with in us. So, if there is a person that really upsets me again and again and my temptation is to become angry then it is when I finally get it through my rather thick head that it is not me that should be in control but God that effective change can and does take place. When, then, I let go of the anxiety of having to worry if I will be angry or not or what the other person does or not and allow Christ to assume control then slowly the situation and most importantly my soul becomes transformed in Grace and Mercy.
No one likes temptation or trials but when we recognize just how weak we are and allow Our Lord to take over then slowly the trial becomes a triumph. Through God trials become triumphs and moments of temptation become tools for Grace and Mercy.
So, like St. Paul I rejoice in my weaknesses for I know that through them God can work freely within me. I selfishly wish learning lessons did not involve taking tests but any good lesson especailly spiritual lessons envolve trials and tests so that we can grow.
Omnia Pro Iesu Per Mariam!
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