Working Papers or "Veniam Pro Laudo Peto"
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Time is slipping away!

Saturday, October 01, 2005
Praised be Jesus Christ!! Now and Forever!!
Lately one of the biggest fears which haunts my waking and sleeping is that all the missed opportunities I have had to better proclaim Christ Jesus. We all have an influence regardless of our state in life at certain crucial moments in the souls of others to be a witness for God or to lead souls into oblivion. I actually have bad dreams, nightmares, not all the time but occasionally that I have led souls into the pit of hell by my words or actions rather than before the Throne of Grace and Mercy. I recognize a lot of this is pure spiritual combat and I have to discern the spirits, as St. Ignatius speaks of, more. There have just been so many missed opportunities to introduce Mercy to others. I look back on my days before conversion and I weep when I think of my actions that more than likely hurt others and led souls astray. I think about times after my conversion when I get caught up in piddly little things instead of boldly proclaiming Christ. I get frustrated when the words I want to say get muddled down. I want to shout from the rooftops of the world for people to repent and turn to the Divine Mercy and yet I allow myself to spend needless time on very unimportant things and worries. I know the saints speak of going through this time and believe me I am so far from even coming close to the depth and height of their holiness it is scary. I used to be able to write but the words to describe what is going on within my soul can not be written, at least by me. I know that I must abandon the future to Divine Providence and the past to God's Infinite Mercy and just proclaim Christ in the holiness of the present moment. It is easier to say than to do though I must confess.
The evil one is a dirty fighter to put it mildly and he rejoices in hitting us in our weakest places with people, our own make up, our fears and our spiritual faults and failings. However, the Father of Mercy and Truth is so generous and quickly comes to our assistance when we just call out. Rather than be anxious about the lost time to win souls or my own inability to effectively communicate Christ to the world and those around me I should rather rejoice in my weakness and allow God's mighty power to cease me and create me anew according to His Holy Will. I have to remind myself in times like this that God works His greatest miracles in the littleness of simple creatures like us. The key I think is to place my trust completely in Christ and cast off myself so that I may put on completely Our Lord. I have to realize that I can not do anything to better others spiritually or myself but it is God's Grace which must sustain me and create me anew.
I don't know how theologically sound the above statement is and that is up to those who know solid teaching much better than I. It is simply my observation and this alas is just one very unworthy soul's blog and not a very good one at that at times. My hope and my prayer is though that by allowing my soul's journey to be semi public, not everything is open of course, that maybe one random soul out there somewhere will open up their lives and souls to the God of Love, Mercy and Truth and to the Bride of Christ. If through the time and effort in this blog one more soul is brought to the Divine Mercy then this is all worth it.
When I think about what is really at stake here- souls won for Christ Our Lord my prayer must be. "Oh Lord My God help me to bear fruit, help me to bear witness and bring souls out of the hands of the enemy and into Mercy."
I think, the days are rapidly slipping away that we can reach out to souls and we must bear fruit and offer our labors to Christ today while we do have time. We (I) must give as many as possible a chance encounter with the Divine Mercy in the present moment that we have been given.
When I think about what is really at stake here- souls won for Christ Our Lord my prayer must be. "Oh Lord My God help me to bear fruit, help me to bear witness and bring souls out of the hands of the enemy and into Mercy."
Omnia Pro Iesu Per Mariam!

For some reason unknown I am having trouble placing links in this posting but I will come back later and place the links and republish this posting.
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